The big payoff

I’ve got a question with regards to the cartoon protest.

Where the heck to all these people get the flags that they’re burning?

I mean I just can’t believe that there’s an outlet store full of Danish flags in Quetta or Kabul, let alone some of the more remote, god-forsaken places in the region.

So, I’ve been wondering if maybe, just maybe, this whole protest started because some gift shop owner got his orders mixed up and instead of getting 5,000 Koosh balls imported from Chinese slave labor he ended up with dozens of boxes filled with Danish flags. I’m guessing he tried all sorts of marketing gimmicks (Brigette Nielsen appreciation day, Harald Bohr Ain’t a Bore! Day ) but just couldn’t move the merchandise.

I picture him depressed, sitting in his store filled with Danish flags and no customers and he slowly becomes filled with rage. These Danish flags are ruining his life!

Al Jazeera plays softly in the background and our storekeeper looks up by chance and sees a bunch of people burning a US flag. He thinks of the shopkeeper who had the foresight to stock up on American flags and quietly mutters “Lucky bastard. May the fleas of a thousand camels infest his armpits.”

Then an idea begins to grow in his mind. Quickly breaking out his pen and paper (along with the free Danish to Arabic dictionary that came with all those flags) he writes a letter to an obscure Danish magazine proposing a contest…a cartoon drawing contest….

The rest, as they say, is history (except it’s not really history since it’s going on right now. You get what I’m saying anyway.).

So if you want to find who’s responsible for all this, just look for the shopkeeper in the Muslim world who just bought a new, pimped out Cadillac Escalade. Don’t like my theory? Well, go ahead and make your own.

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