Home remodeling for the zombie apocalypse

WASHINGTON - NOVEMBER 18:  Treasury Secretary ...

How come this comes up as a suggested image when I'm blogging about the zombie apocalypse? Does the interwebs know something I don't?

Remember when you were a kid and you wanted a fort?  Then, when you finally were old enough and had the cash to buy your own place you found out that all that was out there were completely indefeasible ‘homes’ that might as well have a big bullseye on them with a sign that reads:

Welcome all plunderers, pillagers, zombies or irradiated mutants!  I have lots of cool stuff and no way to defend every possible entry point!  Help yourself!

Well, now your dreams have come true.  Allow me to introduce (h/t Gadget Lab) the ‘Safe House‘.

…at the first sign of trouble — over aggressive trick-or-treaters, for example — you hit a button and the house goes into lockdown, turning from home into fortress. A shutter slams down, protecting the front of the house, huge concrete slabs swing in to plug up the windows, and the drawbridge is hoisted up, isolating the building completely.

A drawbridge!  It’s got a freakin’ drawbridge!!!

Ok, I know what I want for Christmas.  Please give today (and generously!) to help relocate the TwShiloh Global HQ so that we can continue to broadcast even after civilization has collapsed.

 

Before...

 

 

 

After...What? The zombies are chewing on your leg? Gee, I guess me building this house wasn't so dumb after all, huh, Noob? Now, STFU! I'm watching reruns of Maude!

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