Tag Archives: news

Mrs. TwShiloh usually doesn’t like it when I reference Swedish news from the online site The Local.  She claims it’s highly skewed and presents an unflattering picture of Sweden that focuses on the tawdry and scatological interests of the (probably) British editors.  I disagree and point out that perhaps that view is more correct than a Swede living abroad would like to admit.

Regardless of where you may stand on that very important issue, I think we can agree that even at their most ‘egregious’ they can’t touch the work of Emirates 24/7.  And how often do you get to see headlines like this?

‘Donkey rape’ sparks tribal massacre in Yemen

Newspapers in Yemen said the owner of the ass got mad after he saw the donkey attacking his animal, prompting him to chase the donkey and hit it.

The attack infuriated the donkey owner, who called his armed tribe men and asked them to take revenge.

“The problem snowballed into an armed fight between Makabis tribe, which owns the donkey, and Bani Abbas which owns the ass…15 people were either killed or injured in the battle,” the Saudi Arabic language daily Aleqtisadiah said, quoting newspapers in Yemen.

But the madcap mayhem doesn’t end there!  As a bonus story (totally unrelated and not even getting a nod in the headline) we get a story about a monkey going berserk in a Saudi Arabian mosque.

A packed Saudi mosque plunged into pandemonium after a money [sic]  found its way inside and attacked worshippers [sic]…

No word on whether the monkey was an agent of Mossad, a Shiite extremist or a member of SEAL Team 6 engaged in a counter terrorism operation.

Obviously hoping this story will get buried as everyone tries to beat the summer heat is this big (uh…ok….apparently small) story from Lewes, England:

A person who put up enlarged photographs of male private parts around a town in Sussex is being sought by police.

I don’t know why, but this line makes my day:

The force is also investigating whether it is some sort of protest, as a number of the images included a caption which read: “Fees set to rise later this year.”

It’s like a koan.  What does a protest look like if no one understands its a protest?

It ends with an official ‘dig’ at the artist (?).  Perhaps an attempt to get him to over react and reveal himself?

“However, from what we’ve seen, if this is a self-portrait, the artist won’t be in a hurry to be identified.”

This headline has everything you could possibly want:

• It’s big (don’t listen to the propaganda – bigger is better.  If it wasn’t you’d pay extra for ‘mini-size’ portions of fries and your local McCrap.
• It’s got a mystery (everyone loves a mystery)
• Goo is quite popular with the kids (who seem to love all sort of digusting things, especially if they are associated with bodily functions).  After 18 years in the Army I’m quite confident in saying that a large portion of the male demographic (regardless of age) also find goo and bodily excretions hilarious.
• There’s a blob.  Who doesn’t have fond memories of the 1958 movie?
• It’s fun to say.  Go ahead, read it out loud to your significant other and I defy you to not repeat it or strike up a conversation about it.  Who cares about the details of the story, the headline is so fun the story can’t be anything but a letdown…

…or the end of the world in which case you’re probably better off having a laugh anyway.

Who the heck is approving this sort of project?

“A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.”

Hello! Am I the only guy who’s seen the Terminator movies?  Or the Forbin Project?  Or any stories about sentient computers looking to become our evil overlords?  Now we’re making robots that can eat us???

Oh, it gets better.

“Robotic Technology Inc.’s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot — that’s right, “EATR” “can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment [uh...I think that's code for humans.  eds.], as well as use conventional and alternative fuels…when suitable,” reads the company’s Web site.”

“Upon the EATR platform, the Pentagon could build all sorts of things — a transport, an ambulance, a communications center, even a mobile gunship”

Hey, an even better idea!  Let’s not only let these robots eat us but let’s give ‘em the ability to scoot around where ever they want and put guns on them.  Yeesh…