Tag Archives: Putin

Robo-Putin

Putin is the world’s greatest super-villain.  That’s beyond doubt but let’s face it, he’s getting a little long in the tooth and he won’t be able to shoot tigers and frighten world leaders with his dogs forever.  It’s also clear we need a cool villain in the world.  Not a creepy Kim Jong Il  but someone who doesn’t look like they’ve spent their whole lives in a bunker eating bon-bons.

So, we here at TwShiloh demand the world embark on an immediate program to create a Putin-cyborg hybrid.  It might look something like this (h/t EnglishRussia).  There’s no way I’m messing with that dude.

Bad news for Westphalians…Russia and miniskirt edition

Probably not what you want to hear if you’re a ruler of a nation-state and this sort of article comes out about one of your towns.
When Sergei the Gypsy wanted to show who was boss in this tiny settlement on the edge of the Ural Mountains, he gathered a posse of armed men and drove down a narrow road through the night, illuminating the forest with his headlights.
Viktor Gorodilov, who was in his bathhouse, threw on some clothes and joined a small group of men with shotguns, pitchforks, chains and knives to guard the road. “We just had three guns, including me,” said Mr. Gorodilov, 56. “But they didn’t expect any resistance, and we had them in our hands.”
No government support appeared until the battle was safely over.  Nothing else happened until the public outcry forced the upper echelons of the police force were compelled to discipline some of their members.  But the rot runs deep and a few wrist slaps are unlikely to help.
Trust in the police is so low that only 40 percent of victims report their crimes, according to recent studies, whether they involve robbery or car theft or pickpocketing or more serious offenses,
Think about that.  60% of all crimes go unreported.  What percentage of those reported actually result in arrests, recovered property, and convictions are probably much less given the widespread accusations of corruption.
I usually ‘poo-poo’ claims of the collapse of the nation-state but I can’t help but think of the collapse of the Roman Empire in the West where people just began figuring out that allegiance to Rome wasn’t bringing any real benefits and split off to do their own thing.  I imagine they’d relate to Mr. Gorodilov when he says:
“We have everything we need here,” said Mr. Gorodilov, opening a wood gate to show a vegetable garden and a gaggle of quacking geese. “We settle our problems among ourselves. We help each other out.”

On to Putin news…

Putin raises the bar, yet again, for autocrats everywhere.  Now he has attractive Russian women shilling for him.  Really, what can’t this guy do?

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And, of course, Putin’s buddy has to have his own PYT video and this is what’s so fascinating about Russian political advertising.  It seems there’s no message in which scantily clad females aren’t appropriate for Russians.  This Medvedev piece is part of an anti-alcohol campaign.  Let’s face it, while these shapely lasses may say ‘It’s either beer or us’ the fact of the matter is most of the mopes doing the drinking have about zero chance with girls like this.  Perhaps that’s why they’re drinking.  Just sayin’.

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But it gets any better when a rival political party decides to counter the Putin ad with a well reasoned, intelligent response.  In other words, chicks in miniskirts and firing pistols.

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Look, it can’t be a good thing when a political party’s symbol is a hand grenade and they shoot guns as symbols of their rivals but (looking at the positive) at least they have pretty women to look at while the state slides into anarchy.

Kvick Tänkare

In the pinnacle of awesome awesomeness, someone had made a web-comic with Vladimir Putin as a superhero.  Terrorists, zombies and Medvedev as a were-bear…what more can you want?

All of us here at TwShiloh note with a great disappointment the shutting down of the U.S. Army and Marine Corps Counterinsurgency Center Blog (don’t bother clicking the link…it’s dead).  The center does some great work and the fact that they had a blog which was able to talk about counterinsurgency in a more informal style was a great example for others to emulate.

Staying on the military theme…did you know that the Army surveyed soldiers in 1945?

Asked about the statement, “On the whole, I think the Army has hurt me more than it has helped me,” every group agreed, most notably 71 percent of high school grads over 25 years old

I like to think that TwShiloh provides readers with a wide range of subject matter to address many informational needs of the public.  Still, I do find it a bit disturbing that google apparently pointed someone to this blog when they were searching for “pashtoon pussie” (as well as a couple of other variations on that theme).  I can only suppose that they were disappointed in this site.  Apologies also to those who came here via ‘hog castration humor’.  It appears Google has some work to do on their algorithms.

Changing the subject completely….

Got Medieval talks about people who spoil some holidays by finding people having fun and insisting they don’t remember and/or respect the ‘real’ reason for the holiday.  Hey, I get it and would love to think people actually think about things like veterans (and trees, labor etc) at least once a year but they probably won’t and if you keep it up you won’t get invited to any more cookouts.  It’s a fun post because he makes his point using a 14th century manuscript and includes the line:

I worry, though, that if we extend the metaphor back out, I’m the butt-probing monkey at the cookout.

Really, how can you go wrong with that?

Putin puts a stake in the heart of COIN

Et tu Vlad?

“One of my friends in Afghanistan headed a KGB group,” he told reporters.

“One day, he came home for a holiday and I asked ‘so Sasha, how is it over there?’,” Putin continued…

“And he said, ‘you know, not one bombing takes place without my signature. And I measure my success by the number of bombings I haven’t signed off on’ … And then he added ‘Do you know how many civilians die in those bombings?’,” Putin recalled.

That conversation, “for me, was a shock. Just think, at the time, hearing that from a KGB officer!” he concluded.

Really?  Really?  Now Mr. Putin is telling us about how to succeed in Afghanistan?

Granted, this was in response to questions about the Libya operation but Comrade Bear is a very clever dude.  Given the U.S. problems with errant air strikes this anecdote is a little twist of the knife.

In related news, Comrade Bear met with the King of Sweden on this trip as well.

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No word on if the subject of zombies came up…

 

Putin watch

No word on when construction of the secret lair will begin:

The new government of the Central Asian nation of Kyrgyzstan has decided to name a mountain after Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

What the…???

Consider my mind blown….

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It’s like this guy is actually trying to do that list of 1001 things before he dies…

  1. tranquilize a tiger
  2. frighten a foreign head of state with your dog
  3. sing Blueberry Hill on TV

 

Kvick Tänkare

Mrs. TwShiloh is feeling a little bitter over the collective American swooning over the upcoming nuptials in the British royal family.   How come, she’d like to know, there’s wall to wall coverage of this but a virtual media blackout over the recent wedding by Sweden’s royal couple?

A tell-all article by a guy(?) who writes papers for students.  Apparently all levels and disciplines of our academic institution are infected with people who either don’t have the chops or the motivation to do their work and so pay ghost writers to do it for them.  Yeah, I’m not surprised that cheating occurs but jeez.  This article is long but you really should read it.

What’s better than Comrade Bear?  Pictures of Comrade Bear with cute animals

YT links to some hilarious videos of some dude called ‘Chinese Guy’ (oh, I guess he’s a comedian named Peter Chao).  Might not be for everyone but it might just be the cultural whipsaw you need to get those synapses firing.

FP is collecting political humor for an upcoming issue.  This teaser made me laugh out loud.

A Pole walking along the road happens to spy a lamp. He picks it up, and as it is covered in rust he gives it quick rub. Out comes a genie.

“I’m the genie of the lamp and I can grant you three wishes,” the genie says.

“OK,” says the Pole. “I want the Chinese Army to invade Poland.” Odd choice, the genie thinks, but nevertheless he grants the wish, and the Chinese Army comes all the way from China, invades, and goes back home.

“Right, second wish. Maybe something more positive,” says the genie.

“No,” replies the Pole, “I want the Chinese Army to invade again.” So the Chinese come all the way from China, lay waste to more of Poland, and then go home.

“Listen,” says the genie. “You have one last wish. I can make Poland the most beautiful and prosperous place on earth.”

“If you don’t mind, I want the Chinese army to invade one more time.” So the Chinese army comes again, destroys what’s left of Poland, and then goes home for the last time.

“I don’t understand,” says the genie. “Why did you want the Chinese army to invade Poland three times?”

“Well,” replies the Pole, “they had to go through Russia six times.”

My Putin dream

I almost never remember my dreams but this one stuck for some reason.  All non-Freudians are welcome to interpret it…

Mrs. TwShiloh and I were attending some sort of event that had a Russian theme (a concert or something like that).  It was a large event and we were among hundreds or thousands and I had the feeling we had attended similar events in the past.

Then, out of the blue, there’s Mr. Putin.  He comes up to me and says:

“I’m very sorry the soup wasn’t very good last time.  You see, we didn’t know how many people to expect and were simply overwhelmed.  I’m sure it will be much better this time.”

I then ‘remembered’ that I had written a blog post about the poor quality of the soup and realized that the only explanation was that Vlad was a reader of this blog!  Two thoughts immediately raced through my mind before I could respond:

  1. OMG!  Putin reads my blog.  That is so totally cool!
  2. OMG!  I think I might have written some unflattering stuff about Putin and I do NOT want this dude mad at me.

I woke up trying to think of how I could identify any ‘problem’ posts and edit them quickly before Comrade Bear decided I wasn’t as amusing as he originally thought.

At least try the borscht...It's my mother's recipe.

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

I know my posts have consisted of a bit more fluff than usual but:

  1. I’m working on a project at work and need a bit of a break when I get to blog and,
  2. that’s one of the things I really enjoy about my little project here.  I can follow my whims and not get bound by artificial restrictions.

Anyway, I imagine I’ll be getting back to more weighty topics next week.  But for now:

Your Swedish headline of the day:

Blow for bishop as orgasm church flops

Comrade Bear shoots a whale.  Does the Kremlin count as his lair or should he really have a base under a volcano or something?

Putin held his balance in a rubber boat that was being tossed around in choppy waters off the Kamchatka Peninsula, and eventually hit the whale with a special arrow designed to collect skin samples.

Courtesy of Balko, more homeland security nonsense.  Seven people dressed up as zombies and decided to go to the local mall to protest consumerism.  Someone saw their PA system and, freaking out, called the cops who arrested them for:

…disorderly conduct and said the zombies’ homemade public address rig looked like a weapon of mass destruction.

The zombies sued and the city council decided to settle for $165,000.  Good for them.

YT sent me this article about the unveiling of the Iranian drone bomber thingy.  Leave it to the Iranians to screw up on the messaging…

“The jet, as well as being an ambassador of death for the enemies of humanity, has a main message of peace and friendship,” said Ahmadinejad at the inauguration ceremony, which fell on the country’s national day for its defense industries.

WTF does that mean?!  I guess he had an extra dose of crazy with his breakfast.

Is it me or would Putin, Assange and Ahmadinejad make a great league of super villains?  It wouldn’t be a stretch to give them superpowers…Putin could be like Colossus, Assange could be the Leader.  I’m not sure about Ahmadinejad…someone crazy and out of touch with reality…Green Goblin, maybe?

Winter War 2010

The international edition of Helsingin Sanomat recently had an article imagining what a war with Russia would be like today.  I find this strange because there’s no context for the article other than this:

This is an imagined Winter War in 2010. In the speculative scenario, the sides in the war are the same as they were in 1939.

That’s it.  No explanation of why this scenario is examined, by whom or why it’s considered news.

Of course, you know how this is going to end and Comrade Putin ain’t going to be happy…

The Russian jet fighters rushing to the Helsinki region at supersonic speed suffer their first losses in dogfights with Finnish Hornets.

On the Karelian Isthmus, Russia’s motorised army charges ahead with a force in the tens of thousands, with artillery and air support. The aim is to reach the Finnish capital in two days.  However, the forward movement of the forces stops east of the Kymi River, when the Russians confront the Finnish readiness brigades concentrated in the area.

No fixed front lines are established, and the Pasi armoured personnel carriers take fighters from one place to another.

The Russians drop paratroopers at key locations in the Helsinki region. Their aim is to disrupt the distribution of electricity, water, and food.  Finnish special forces surround enemy units near the Malmi Airport. Urban warfare begins, with relentless battles ensuing.

So…is this the result of a bored intern at the newspaper with an over active imagination or perhaps a veiled threat to Russia that if they think about making a habit of invading small, neighboring nations they’re about to get their borscht kicked?

Maybe DJ Vlad should think about kickin’ it old school against take this battle to the realm of Tupak and B.I.G.  He’s got the chops…

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